Has someone told you lately to fully step into your own power? Or, have you read it somewhere or heard someone else talking about it?

I talk a lot about stepping into your power with my clients, but I also understand that this is a vague term. What does stepping into your power look like or mean?

Power Redefined

When you hear the word power, it can bring up images of aggression, control, dishonesty, bullying, responsibility, competition, etc. Now, if you’re a woman being told to step into your power, and you define power with any of the previous terms, it probably is not something you are going to want to do, or it may just scare you to death.

This is often the type of power we see in a man’s world. It’s the most common and is quickly falling apart and unraveling.

There has never been a more important time to step into your own power and really own it. This is a different type of power that may seem a bit contradictory to how you might define it.

How do you own your power?

Owning your own power and stepping into it, is not about control or aggression.

It’s letting go of control (which is an illusion anyway); it’s grace, collaboration, communication, and the ability to be present and actively listen to someone.

It’s the willingness to stand your ground but also being open to other opinions.

It’s about not having to be right, creating safe spaces for people, building strong relationships, integrity, and strength.

It takes knowing yourself well, staying in your strengths, and allowing others to find a way to perform in their strength.

To have the courage to make the hard decisions, even when it may not be popular.

Standing in your power is to be honest and communicate that honesty with grace and heart.

To let people know you care, you pay attention, and you lead by example.

Most importantly, to be willing to be vulnerable and let people see you. This is the place we all connect with each other on a deeper level. It’s not in the way you project yourself to be, but to really allow people in and see you.

Power Personified

One of the best examples I have ever seen of this, was Mary Kay Ash. She was the epitome of standing in her power with grace, love, and integrity.

When you spoke to her, she made you feel like you were the only one in the room.  This was the case even when there were a hundred other people waiting to talk to her.

Expectations were high. She expected the best from the people around her. She never avoided a hard conversation but entered the conversation with love and grace, “sandwiching any criticism with two pieces of praise”.

There was nothing masculine about her. She stood at best 5 feet tall, but her presence could fill an entire auditorium. When she walked up to speak, you could hear a pin drop.

Trust – never underestimate the power of trust. People always trusted she would do the right thing. This didn’t mean she didn’t make mistakes, but if she did she admitted them and fixed them.

“Live each day to the fullest. Get the most form each hour, each day and each age of your life. Then you can look forward with confidence and back without regrets.”

~Mary Kay Ash

This type of power has been around for a long time but we so rarely ever see it.

Martin Luther King possessed this kind of power. He fully stood in his power, peaceful, purposeful, and full of heart.

Mother Teresa stood fully in her power with love, kindness, and heart.

This kind of power is accepting and brings people together.

When you step into this type of power, it creates community, belonging, and inclusion.

This is the kind of power I am talking about when I talk about stepping into your power and really owning it. You already posses this kind of power – you where born with it.

It’s that quiet voice. That feeling deep inside that knows you were meant for more.

If you are familiar with this quiet voice that keeps pushing you to step out, do more, play bigger, and be seen. It’s time. Are you ready?

If so, here are a few steps to start with:

1. Trust – let go of control. I know it’s a big ask. But let’s face it, how much control do we actually have? Not much. Do what you know to do, do what you can do, and then let it go. Trusting that you are fully supported.
2. Let people know you care. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. This isn’t always easy, but it will give you an unfair advantage and keep your clients and customers coming back. Some people see this as a weakness, but caring is powerful.
3. Allow people to see you. Let go of trying to be perfect and be real. You possess skills and talents that only you can bring to the world, your clients, and your customers. No one is perfect, and it’s exhausting trying to be that way. It is much more powerful to be comfortable in your own skin. When you are real, people feel it and are much more comfortable around you. You are also much more open, and that is a very attractive and powerful quality.
4. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is one of the most powerful things you can do. I know. I can feel your eyes rolling now. It’s in our vulnerability that we connect to others. People see that they are not alone. You become more likable, and people begin to see their own possibilities through you.
5. Don’t try to go it alone. Nothing great ever happens alone. Surround yourself with people who can support you. Who have strengths where you have weakness. Create an inner circle. Your “Balcony People”, the people who are there for you, believe in you, and that will always tell you the truth. If you don’t have this, open up, and invite people in. I never said this would be easy, but it is incredibly fulfilling!
6. Be willing to receive. There is power in needing other people. There is power in asking for support and help. You may be one who is much more comfortable giving and serving then receiving. But if you think about it, if you don’t receive well then you don’t allow someone else to give and serve. Our capacity to receive is a direct refection on what we can accomplish. Being willing to receive completes the flow of energy between giving and receiving.

Be willing to throw your heart into what you love.  Be powerful, and watch the impact you will have!

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