You know the feeling you get, when you know what you really want but you just can’t get there.? The frustration that is building inside of you, because you just can’t figure out why. You know what you want, you know what you have to do to get there, but something just keeps stopping you or you can’t get the outcome you’re looking for.
You run smack into a wall of resistance and feel stuck. Your desire is huge. I mean, you really want to build your business, be visible, and have a huge impact. You want to create connections, make money – “a lot of money” and create financial security and independence. You want to have FREEDOM.
You can visualize it and know what you would do with the income and how you would want to live. But, you keep hitting up against the wall of resistance.
Here’s the good news – you are halfway there.
What causes the wall of resistance?
The wall of resistance you keep hitting, is caused by one of two things (or both). You either don’t have the skill level to accomplish the task at hand or there is a subconscious pattern rearing its head.
If the resistance is skill, then get the help you need to learn the skill from someone who can teach you, read books, listen to trainings, etc. This one is easy.
If it’s a subconscious pattern, then that gets a little trickier. When you have a subconscious pattern coming up, you will find yourself in resistance with a pattern of behavior that follows. You feel the resistance but can’t figure out why you just can’t power through it. Or, you may be able to power through it for a while, but it’s not sustainable, and pretty soon you’re right back where you started from.
How your subconscious mind influences your success
The subconscious is powerful.
Your subconscious mind is a huge memory bank. By the time you are 21, you have already stored more than one hundred times the contents of the Encyclopedia Britannica.
The subconscious stores and retrieves information.
Your subconscious mind is subjective. It does not think or reason. It doesn’t know the truth from a lie; it simply obeys commands it receives from your conscious mind.
These subconscious patterns are formed from a very young age. Usually, between the ages of 3 and 10, these patterns are mostly set. What happens is that when you are young, you may have an emotional experience, and as children, we don’t have the capacity to handle all the emotion.
As a result, whatever emotion we cannot process, gets stored in the body as blocked energy. When this event happens, we often make a decision about something or ourselves that gets attached to the blocked energy. Now, every time you find yourself in a situation that feels similar, it vibrates that energy or triggers it, and you behave in a way that proves your decision to be right.
My unfiltered mouth and the parachute men.
Now, hang in there with me. Let me give you an example. When I was about 5 years old, my brother and I were outside of our apartment playing with parachute men. We were throwing them in the air and running after them. I threw mine up in the air right as a man walked outside his apartment, and it hit him in the head. He said something to me that I must not have liked and responded in what must have been a fairly inappropriate way for a 5-year-old to respond (I had not developed my filter yet and liked the shock of using curse words).
The man began to chase my brother and I, and we ran into our apartment, slammed the door, and immediately hid under the coffee table. My mom was asking us what was going on when the man began banging on the door. It scared my mother, my brother and I, and my mother called my father. As my frantic mother called my father, the man’s fist came through the door. My mom started screaming, and I decided that I got everyone in trouble.
There were also several other instances that followed that I won’t go into here, but let’s say there where several times that ended with my brother and I getting chased and hiding in a window well because of something I said. This just solidified the decision which in turn became my belief; that it was dangerous for me to speak out.
The result was that I withdrew and became terrified of talking to people. This served me well while I was younger but worked against me when I was in a position to start speaking and training people.
Are your subconscious patterns leading you to success?
These patterns that are formed are either serving you or they are not. The subconscious patterns that are no longer serving you are the ones causing resistance. You feel the resistance, but you can’t see the pattern or the self-sabotage because it is unconscious behavior.
When you are trying to accomplish something that is bigger than anything you have ever accomplished before or is outside of your comfort zone, you will have resistance.
If you are bumping up against a pattern, then you are bumping up against an automatic way of behaving that will sabotage your efforts and keep you stuck. The core of this pattern is stuck energy. The stuck energy gets triggered when you feel the resistance, and bingo, the behavior is triggered.
You can’t see the behavior, because it is unconscious and a familiar way of behaving. It sits in your blind spot. But, you can feel the resistance. When you feel the resistance, be honest with yourself, and ask whether it is a skill level or a pattern.
If it’s not skill level then you’re dealing with a pattern. The way past a pattern, is to allow the stuck energy to be expressed and move through you.
Here are a few steps you can try if you are bumping up against resistance:
- Be aware of when you get in resistance, and pay attention to when it happens. I would get into resistance every time I would have to speak. I would power through it but then get a sinus infection – every time.
- When you feel yourself in resistance, just stop for a minute. Take a deep breath, and pay attention to what are you thinking about. This will give you clues to what decision you made when you where a child and the limiting belief attached.
- Now, take another deep breath, don’t worry about the thoughts, but scan your body for a physical sensation. It may show up as a pit in your stomach, a knot in your throat or heaviness in your chest, etc.
- Once you have found the physical sensation, take 30-60 seconds just to allow the feeling to be there. Close your eyes and just be with it. Feel it completely. Does it have a shape, temperature, or color? Just stay with it.
Following these simple steps allows the stuck energy to begin to process out. This in turn will give you more freedom to move outside of your comfort zone.