Last week I talked about the concept of Choice, Appreciation, and Joyful Play (in case you missed it). Today, I want to unpack choice a little bit.
I talked about replacing acceptance with choice, and yes, you could say that’s just semantics. But it goes deeper than that.
Acceptance is passive, and yes, there are things we have to accept.
Choosing to accept, takes it from passive to active.
The active piece of making the choice changes the energy of it.
It’s taking full personal responsibility.
It’s being present with your decision.
Why is this important? It’s important because we all have behavioral patterns we fall into, and one of the most prevalent patterns we fall into are Victim and Martyr. Martyr is usually my go to. You may also fall into both categories at some point. We all do it! Well maybe not the Dali Lama, the pope, and certain highly evolved beings – you get the picture.
When you go into these types of patterns you get angry, frustrated, and resentful.
This is because you are not honoring YOU.
By not making a choice first, you have no control to fix it because you are not taking personal responsibility.
Without personal responsibility, you have put the problem and solution outside of yourself. For example, when you blame someone or something else (victim) then you have no power to resolve the situation.
“It is what it IS.”
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When you make a choice to be in acceptance, then you take full personal responsibility which means you have the ability to change it, even if you choose not to change the situation in the moment because the choice is not optimal. YOU have the ability within you to take steps to move forward and create a better choice for yourself.
When you take full responsibility and make a choice to accept a situation or doing tasks that need to be done or making a change, it is freeing.
This may seem like a simple concept or for some, obvious, but don’t underestimate the power this little tool can have on your life!
Here are a few steps to get started:
- There is always a choice: Yes, even when you don’t think so. You may feel stuck in a job or position you don’t want to be in, but you could always choose to leave the job or position. The choice would be to leave, but the consequences may make that choice one that is not so appealing. So, you choose to stay in your job or position and begin getting an exit plan together. Or, you may find ways to improve your position or job. This doesn’t happen unless you take personal responsibility.
- It is what it is. There will be and are situations that are out of your control and can be blamed on someone else. What good, though, does that do? You are still where you are. My favorite saying is, “It is what it is”. Coming from this place, you can just take where you are and choose to create a plan to change it. I love this saying because it takes the emotion out of it. No matter how mad or upset you may be, it won’t change where you are. But, looking at what actually is the situation you can create a plan or response.
- Give grace to yourself. We are human. I love a good temper tantrum every now and then. There will be times you fall back into old modes of behaving. When this happens give yourself some grace (or a timed temper tantrumJ). Choose to feel what you need to feel and then move one. Perfection is overrated! It’s fixed and limited. Be YOU and choose to love all the amazing parts of YOU. The good, bad, and ugly as they say.
Would love to hear about where you have made a choice and the impact that had for you. Please comment below. I always love to hear from you.