Burned out, overwhelmed, and edgy are sure signs that you are not taking time for yourself and putting yourself as a priority. Your success in life and business depends on you putting yourself as a priority.

There are many reasons we don’t put ourselves as a priority, especially as women. It’s the stories you have grabbed onto and believed, probably passed down through generations. The story goes that it is your job to nurture and take care of your family, your business customers, and your clients. This is true, but it is not your only job. There are people around that can also support you, if you are willing to receive the help.

The key is to receive from yourself first. This means putting yourself at the top of the list. Taking care of yourself first, so that you have the energy, vitality, and patience to take care of and nurture everyone else in your life that you want to nurture.

This means you take the best piece of pie first.

Yes, I know this may be triggering something in you right now. Hang in there though and I’ll explain.  This statement was one I used in a Joyful Play Impact Group that I offer, and it was triggering.

You may have many stories and beliefs around you as to why you absolutely should not do this. You may feel like that would be incredibly selfish, your job is to make sure everyone has what they need first, and that you are here to serve. I prefer to look at it as selfcare and not selfish. The thought that we need to take care of everyone else first, is one story many of us have. You are here to serve. We all are, but we are also here to receive.

“Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority.” ~Tom Hopkins

You cannot serve, take care of everyone you want to take care of, and have the impact you want to have by putting yourself last. It may work for a little bit, but it will not be sustainable.

Just look to nature. Wolf packs have an alpha mother and father who lead the pack, take care of the pack, they eat first to make sure they stay strong so that they can protect and feed the pack. If they get sick or weak, it puts the entire pack in danger. 

You are the head of your pack! You are the alpha nurturer and protector. You may be also be the sole alpha support. You take the best piece of the pie. Stay strong, healthy, energetic, and inspired, so that you can take care of your pack, your family, business so that you can serve and have an impact in the way you have dreamed of.

Yes, you may really feel like I am full of it right now, but if you do and you are being triggered then you may just really want to give this some thought.

When you are not putting yourself as the priority, then you will run out of gas. This is the quickest path to resentment, frustration, exhaustion, becoming overwhelmed, and overall crabbiness. I know that when I get to this place, it is always because I have put myself on the back burner, and the people I love most pay the price.

I am not telling you this is easy, but I can tell you that it will make a tremendous difference to your life. It’s not easy because it totally goes against our nature, upbringing, and what many of us have been told most of our life.

There are a few simple steps to get you started. Take some time with these steps because this is a journey that can be messy and sticky at times. You are facing old beliefs, patterns, cultural ideas.

1. Be honest with yourself. How often do you actually put yourself as a priority? Is it most times, sometimes, or hardly ever? It’s important to really look at where you are to get a starting point.
2. Start small and build from there. If you rarely or only sometimes put yourself as a priority, then you have a hard time receiving. The most important person for you to receive from is you. Allow yourself to find some areas where you can receive.
3. Start with small experiments. Create one or two small experiments around receiving. You could start with experimenting with allowing yourself to do something first before everyone else. For example, you could get ready for bed before getting your children ready. You could experiment with serving yourself first, taking a time out and take a bubble bath with a do not disturb sign on the door. There are a lot of little things you could experiment with just to test the waters.
4. Ask for support or help. Yep, this one can be a Biggy. Who could you ask for a little help or support from? Remember you don’t have to do everything. When you allow someone to help or support you they then in turn get to enjoy the ability to give.
5. Ruthless Compassion. I have an amazing friend named Jennifer Kartiganer who talks a lot about the importance of Ruthless Compassion with yourself. This is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. The more compassion you have for yourself, the more compassionate you can be with everyone else around you.

I realize this isn’t an easy journey. I also know by being on this journey for the last 20 years, that it will change your life in ways you can’t even dream of right now. It will never be perfect, just take it one day at a time. Be kind and loving to yourself. Find places to give to yourself. Find what brings you energy and fills you up. I call this Joyful Play.

It’s your turn and your time!