I don’t know about you but the word “should,” is such a trigger for me.  It’s a word that I really dislike.

Last week we talked about exploring the topic of defining what you really want. When you start to explore what you want, lots can come up for you. You may feel selfish and hear your inner dialogue sounding something like, “You really should be doing this” or “You shouldn’t be so selfish” or “You should be happy with what you have,” etc., etc.

You may find that in some parts of your life, it is easier to plan and act on what you want, and then other parts of your life, not so much.

Is it selfish to really define what you want, and then go for it?

Yes, I believe it is. Although, I prefer to call it self-care. Sometimes being selfish is really important and best for everyone around you. There is always going to be someone who thinks you’re being selfish if you take care of yourself first.

But, think of it this way. When are you happiest? When do you have the most joy, love, enthusiasm, compassion to give? When you are filled up, taking care of yourself first, and figuring out what you want for your life, yourself, and your family, it benefits everyone.

Sometimes, people point out that taking care of you first is selfish. Those people tend to be those who are not taking care of themselves and who really need to.

When you take care of yourself and start living the life you want and building the type of business you want, you take responsibility for filling yourself up. When you take responsibility, you are happier, you have more energy, more patience, more love to go around. The people, in turn, around you will be better off.

The other key is that you aren’t dependent on someone else or something outside of you to fill you up. What an amazing example you will be for the people around you.

This is what happens when you stop “shoulding” yourself.

Giving up the word “should,” will help you do that. Part of taking care of yourself and going for what you want is staying in your power and not giving it up to anyone else. When you let go of should and embrace choice, you can begin to really build a life you want.

You can let go of anger, guilt, and shame around what you should be doing.

Don’t take my word for it – play with it.  Experiment with not using the word should and replace it with what you want to do. Try it on and see how it feels. Notice how often you may be “shoulding” on yourself.

As you experiment and play with this, the key will be judgment free awareness. Don’t judge yourself, just notice. It’s not bad or good, just notice -“Isn’t that interesting… I just…”

Create what you want – the life, the business, the family, the future, and let go of what you think you should be doing or what someone else thinks you should be doing. This is much easier said then done, but with practice it gets easier and easier!